Tidus's Christmas Shopping
by Colette's a Bimbo
Summary: Tis the season to be jolly!  Tidus goes Christmas shopping! Read to find out what he buys for everyone!  Who would have known pedometers measured how many steps you walked, right? Tidus really could have known that information beforehand. XD


Me: A special Christmas fic written because I'm trying to get into a festive spirit. ^.^

Tidus: How's that working out for you?

Me: BAD! I've been playing Kingdom Hearts for the past four hours and the controls and camera angles are really pissing me off!

Tiuds: Um...Just asking...

Me: I'm going to go get some ramunè... Take over for me... *walks off*

Tiuds: Okay? Colette's a Bimbo does not own Final Fantasy. If she did own Final Fantasy Seymour would be a pile of ashes before the game even starts...

* * *

><p><strong>Tidus's Christmas (Shopping)<strong>

"Man, how am I going to buy presents for all of these people?" I muttered to myself as I scratched my head. I was staring at a list of people I needed to buy Christmas presents for.

"Tidus, are you okay?" Yuna asked as she walked up to me.

I quickly hid the list. "Yeah! I feel great! Totally fine!"

Yuna stared at me for a while then smiled. "Great to know," she said.

We laughed together for a minute. Then I said, "Hey, I need to go grab a few things before the Christmas party starts. Can you tell the others I'm gone?"

She nodded. "Don't come back late."

I was already rushing off when I shouted, "Don't worry! I'll be back before the Christmas party!"

* * *

><p>"What should I get for Yuna?" I wondered to myself. A jewelery store caught my eye, and I walked in.<p>

"Hello. Welcome to Yevon's Jewels. How may I help you?" the shopkeeper asked in a bored tone.

"I'm just looking around. Thanks," I answered. The shopkeeper went back to reading her magazine.

After searching for ten minutes I found a yellow obi dangle. I thought it would look great on Yuna, so I bought it. I decided to buy Rikku's present here, too. I looked around, but nothing caught my eye. I was about to give up when I saw some earrings with an intricate design on them. I took a closer look.

"Are you interested in our grenade earrings?" the shopkeeper asked as she made her way over to me. She opened the case and took out a blue one and handed it to me.

"They're on sale right now. You just have to detach the sphere from the hook to activate it. It's great for anyone who loves bombs."

"I'll take it!" I handed over 350 gils, took the earring, and left the shop.

Next, I entered a doll store and bought a chocobo plush for Lulu. After, I entered a sports equipment store and bought a new blitzball for Wakka. I decided to buy one for Kimahri too.

I left the store and tried to remember who I was forgetting. Then, it hit me; Auron! I checked my watch and saw that I only had an hour before the party started. I ran into the first shop I saw. I realized it was a bar after I ran in...

"Hey, would you like something to drink? The bartender asked.

"Um, I'm underage though," I replied.

He shrugged. "Didn't stop me from selling drinks to the twelve year old that left a while ago."

I gaped. Then said, "Do you have anything strong that an old guy would like to drink? Something strong enough to knock him out for a while so that I can steal his sunglasses?"

The bartender stared at me like a was crazy before answering, "Yeah, we've got that. I'm guessing you want it in a bottle?"

I nodded.

He poured a red liquid into a small clear bottle then handed it to me. "That'll be 250 gils."

I handed him the money, took the bottle and left. I was halfway to the inn where the party was being held, when I realized I hadn't bought a present for the host, Seymour. Honestly, I didn't want to buy him anything at all, but I could hear Wakka's voice in my head, reprimanding me for not getting anything for the host. I sighed then entered a store closest to me. By coincidence it was the sports equipment shop I had bought Wakka and Kimahri's presents at.

"Hi, I'm back," I said as I entered.

The shopkeeper smiled and put away the book she was reading.

"Can you help me find a present for someone?" I asked.

"Sure. Who's it for?" She asked back.

I thought for a while then said, "Well, he's pretty rich, and he's religious. I really think he's a pedo...and he's fat! Yeah! He's totally fat!"

The shopkeeper thought for a moment. "Hm...this is hard. You said he's fat right? Maybe you can get him something to work out with. For example, weights and jump ropes. Those will be on aisle six."

I thanked her then went to that aisle. As soon as I got there, a small black box caught my eyes. The box was labeled "pedometer" in bold red lettering.

'This is perfect!' I thought. 'a pedometer for a pedo!'

I bought the item and swiftly left the shop. I barely got to the party on time.

* * *

><p>After I gave everyone their gifts, I talked with Yuna.<p>

"Thank you so much for the obi dangles," she said.

I smiled, "I really thought they would look great on you."

I heard a loud boom from where Rikku was standing. One of her earrings were missing, and there was a huge crater in front of her. "Oops," she said while giggling.

Yuna chuckled then ran over to Rikku.

Auron appeared from behind me. "Thank you for your gift. Though it was very ...questionable..."

"Did you drink it already?" I asked.

"Drink? I use alcohol to create explosions in battle."

I mentally face palmed.

Yuna ran back to me. "Oh hello sir Auron," she chirped happily. "Merry Christmas!"

"Merry Christmas to you too," he said as he walked off.

"So... what did you get for Maestor Seymour?" Yuna asked.

I put my arms behind my head. "I found some nifty thing called a pedometer and I got it for him."

"That's nice," Yuna said. "Now he can know how many steps he walks every day."

"Huh?" I said. "I thought it measured how pedo-y someone was!" I exclaimed.

Yuna smiled and laughed softly. "Oh no, a pedometer is a small device that counts how many steps someone walks in a day."

At the moment Seymour walked past us while muttering, "I'm not _that_ fat."

I shrugged. "Well, he needs to lose _some _weight."

Yuna and I looked at each other then laughed.

* * *

><p>Tiuds: Zeles? What are you doing?<p>

Me: Writing in my deathnote.

Tidus: O.o Who's name are you writing?

Me: Seymour's! Who else?

Tidus: O.o

Me: Please review, and I'm sorry about some of the OoC-ness. This fic is dedicated to all of my friends. Merry Christmas everyone!


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